"My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them." - Winston Churchill

Hear Here


"Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also
moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets." - George W. Bush

Friday, February 29, 2008

Motivated Pituitary Orator Reaches Puberty

Today we celebrate Tony 'Banana Hands' Robbins' 13th Birthday.

Robbins was born Anthony J. Mahavorick on February 29, 1960, making him a 'Leap Year' baby.

Tony is a celebrated public motivational speaker who may be best know for his role in the 2001 Jack Black comedy, Shallow Hal.

Look for Tony, in the leading role of Frederic, in this years re-make of the classic motion picture 'Pirates of Penzance'; also starring Antonio Sabato Jr. and Ja Rule. The film is scored by Randy Jackson of the 1970's Rock Group, Zebra.

Happy Birthday Tony!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Damed Union Workers

Mexican migrant workers search for missing border between US and Mexico.

Hundreds of migrant workers were rounded up this morning and offered a very competitive wage to search for a 28 mile length of missing virtual fence, along the nation's border with Mexico. The 28 mile stretch is the pilot, 'Project 28', designed by Boeing.

The Bush administration has announced that the search for the $85.6 million invisible fence has delayed the full installation of the entire $7.6 billion 2000 mile fence along the entire border, until it is located. "There is no sense in wasting taxpayer dollars until we can secure our assets", a source, speaking under conditions of anonymity, working in the White House stated. We'll call him Jorge, from housekeeping.

The border was misplaced by Boeing employees, last Friday, right before they were prepared to hand it over to Department of Homeland Security (DHS) workers. "I don't understand it.", Boeing Foreman Norman Vargass said, "We set it aside for our lunch hours and when we returned, it was missing." He included, The union makes us eat, everyday, at 12:00 PM. This may indicate the last time anyone didn't see the virtual fence.

Another Boeing official said, in a prepared statement, "This is a minor set back and should be resolved soon." He also made an attempt at a positive spin by touting the technology that make this invisible fence so hard to see in the first place.

Jorge,from housekeeping, added "I don't understand it. First the Vice President's e-mails disappeared and now this..."

A $2 million credit, toward gates and fence posts along the fence, has been extended to DHS for their inconvenience.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

We don't know Dick



A curious question was posed today; what happened to Dick Cheaney's e-mail for the week of Sep. 30 - Oct. 6, 2003? They just seemed to disappear.

Of course, conspiracy theorists were quick to jump all over the mysterious Vice President because these were the e-mails subpoenaed by Special Council, Patrick Fitzgerald, in he CIA leak probe. You know the one. The case of 'Who Outed Valerie Plame, Secret Agent Woman?'

All of this can be easily explained, however. There is no reason to jump to conclusions; Right?

What do you think happened to the e-mail, Colin? I dunno; what do you think happened Henry? You are asking me? I am still trying to determine what ever became of 'Tricky's' tapes.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

WELL! His name is Barack Obama



Yesterday, photos of Barack Obama were circulated, by the Drudge Report, showing him dressed in a traditional white turban and robe of a Somali elder.

Obama dawned the apparel, on a trip in 2006 to his father's homeland of Somalia, much like Hillary Clinton might wear 'Osh Gosh - B'Gosh' farmer overalls if she were to visit her homeland of Arkansas.

It turns out that Clinton's campaign team may have lent this photo to Matt Drudge, from Hillary's photo archives being compiled for the Hillary Rodham-Clinton Presidential Library, to be run by the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA).

That was nice, wasn't it?


You bitch. Hey dipshit, stop looking at my ass.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Unsafe at Any Lead



Ralph Nader is back as a 3rd party candidate for this year's Presidential race.

This is when things get interesting, especially for the Democrats as he tends to split the party vote.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

And the Oscar goes to...


...FORMER FIRST LADY, SENATOR HILLARY DIANE RODHAM-CLINTON JR.! for her recent portrayal of a woman and New Yorker running as a ballsy Presidential candidate possessing scrupulous high moral standards, feelings and a sound health care package.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

U23D



If U R a U2 fan and U have not seen U23D, U don't know what U R missing. U have 2 have an IMAX theater near U in order 2 see it though.

The film is quite impressive, as it takes place on a 90X60 foot screen in high def. I actually felt that I was standing on the stage and could reach out and grab 'The Edge's' guitar or a microphone stand.

At other times I felt that I was part of the South American crowd which, by the way, was as impressive as the band. Being able to count Bono's whiskers, though, was just weird.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Slacker


Today I added a new music player at the top right hand side of my Blog. Basically it is a link, to one of my personalized stations that I created on Slacker.com. Please check it out.

Slacker.com is Internet based radio which, in my opinion, will start to be the way most people will start listening to music. Especially since Slacker has a relatively new music player that allows you to listen to Internet radio while on the go (Check out the player by clicking on the title of this blog). It does this through a satellite connection.

I'm still a big fan of my XM Radio but while at the office, I listen to Internet radio, almost exclusively. Slacker has no adds, just like XM, and can be customized to fit your music pleasure. Slacker also has a very diverse and extremely large library of music and comedy channels, all for free.

The basic version is great and fulfills my needs but you can upgrade to more robust versions if you want more functionality. One of my favorite things is a down loadable software player that can sit on your desktop or in your system tray and allows you to connect instantly.

I am not a Shill; I'm just truly impressed. And if they want me to beta test one of their players, I'm not opposed to it.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Aren't the Chinese more afraid of our accuracy?



China is making a bru-ha over the possible dangers the U.S. may be exposing the rest of the world too with the shoot down of the our own spy satellite, yesterday.

Was it not China a little while back that shot down one of it's own weather satellites, in a show of their weaponry?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Miguel Tejada is a liar, a cheat, a cry baby, a poor team mate...?

Miguel Tejada and Rafael Palmerio

It sure will be a long season for Baltimore Oriole fans. It's already been a shocking off season, with the Mitchell report naming 17 current and former Orioles, as cheaters. The Orioles are rebuilding again by trading away some of their most talented players including Eric Bedard, Miguel Tejada and possibly Brian Roberts for young talent.

Most disappointing to me was the news about Brian Roberts, a home grown all-star 2nd baseman, being one of the players named in the report. I was not as shocked, however, about Miguel Tejada being on that list.

A couple of years ago Rafeal Palmerio indicated that Tejada may have given him steroids in a B-12 shot. He did this after being vilified when a positive result came back on his random drug test. Tejada screamed bloody murder that a team mate would involve him in one of the lowest points in Oriole history. Most people agreed with him. I was skeptical.

Last season, Tejada played the poorest season of his career. His production fell off, he was hurt and he was fat. His body lost all of the muscle tone it had had in previous seasons and he had a belly. Don't get me wrong, Tejada was never Mark McGwire or Jose Canseco but he was fit.

My theory (you can ask my buddies if I had said this last year) is that Miguel got scared that he would be caught dirty, in light of Palmerio's accusation, and he got off the juice. As a result he was not able to recover from injury as fast and his production and muscle fell off.

Could Palmerio have been telling the truth? I'm more inclined to believe him, the most productive free agent signed by the O's in team history, than the cry baby All-Star Shortstop that wanted to be anywhere but Baltimore.

Palmerio was one of the most consistent long ball hitters in Major League history, with over 3000 hits and close to 600 home runs. He is one of four ballplayers (Jimmy Foxx, Mark McGwire and Manny Ramirez are the others) in Major League history to hit at least two-hundred career home runs with two different ball clubs. He never hit more than 47 homers in a season(he did that twice) and only had over 40 four times in 20 seasons.

He was not to shabby in the field either and probably got over looked for the All-Star team and Gold Glove awards, due to popularity contests more than skill assessment, on more than a few occasions. After such a great career, he unceremoniously did not return to baseball, after the failed test results and a subsequent suspension by Major League Baseball.

If Palmerio was telling the truth, it will be the most tragic humiliation that any one man could ever go through. Major League Baseball, Baseball Writers, Congress and especially Baltimore Oriole fans should line up and apologize to him, for what he has gone through. In addition, he should also be a 1st ballot Hall of Famer, for his very impressive stats and to make up for and erase any doubts about his integrity.

As for Miguel Tejada; good luck with the FBI probe that will be firmly placed up your ass, rather than a steroid hypo, in this season of your new beginnings. Stop blaming Baltimore for your poor decision making skills. Bessball (and Baltimore) hes bin betty betty gud tu you, my friend, so stop complaining about how bad it was for you in a town that WAS happy to have you and take ownership of the house you built.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Castro Retires!

Fidel Castro has decide to sail off into the sunrise


After 49 years in public service, Fidel Castro has decided to call it a career and retire.

In a 3 hour rambling statement, by the little dictator, Castro said that he has yearned to answer the call of the sea and would be sailing around the world of Cuba in his finest sailing vessel.

When asked what the state of the union for Cuba is as he leaves office, an always eloquent Castro replied, " I have total confidence in that Cuba will continue to flourish and set the pace for the rest of the world." He continued his statement by saying, "It is not easy being a 'Super Power' but with great power comes great responsibility."

Monday, February 18, 2008

Happy President's Day

Our 4 Best Presidents
At least Reagan looked happy

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Uno Under, Under Uno

Is it cheating when a dog uses performance enhancing drugs to win Westminster?

There is widespread speculation that Uno, the 2008 'Best in Show' winner at the Westminster Kennel Show, may have used performance enhancing drugs to get a hind leg up on the competition.

There may be even a deeper conspiracy, if it is discovered that Uno is really the very popular superhero 'Underdog'. As bad as performance enhancing drugs are, super powers are really putting the other dogs at a disadvantage.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Is that duck wearing pants?

I just learned, the sad news, that Howard the Duck creator, Steve Gerber, has passed away.

Though Steve created many comic and cartoon characters over the years, he will always be known for Howard, the always angry cigar chomping duck, from another dimension. Howard, the unlikely hero residing in Cleveland, Ohio who finds himself in one bad situation after another.

He wound up on Earth due to a shift in the Cosmic Axis. He is really from an alternate Earth populated with what Gerber described as anthropomorphic creatures or animal creatures.

Out of place, even in Cleveland, Howard finds himself at home eventually. He even develops a relationship with a hot sidekick, Beverly Switzler, who eventually becomes his girlfriend.

Gerber's duck became very popular in the late 70's and 80's; developing a cult following that even liked a poorly done motion picture done by of all directors, George Lucas. He actually had a semi-love scene between Howard (A DUCK) and Beverly, who is played by Lea Thompson. Steve was not a consultant on the film.

Steve Gerber will be missed as not too many writers could have turned an absurd little duck, among human characters, into something that even comic fans would except.

Friday, February 15, 2008

"Hanoi Jane" said the "C" word

Jane Fonda's controversial 'Life So Far' got an additional moment of distinction today, live on the nationally televised Today Show. In an interview, with Meredith Viara, Jane said "Cunt" when discussing the Vagina Monologues.

Ms. Fonda didn't even flinch or show concern during or after the interview, while taping an interview about what she had just said.

17 minutes after the incident, Meredith Viara broadcast an apology from the Today Show and NBC. She described it as a slip by Ms. Fonda.

My guess is that Ms. Fonda has heard herself being described as this word, so many times over the last 40 or so years, that she probably thought nothing of it.







Oooppps! What did I say?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day

Tomorrow, back to the massacre.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Ocho Sink O


Yesterday, a rumor about the Redskins (Danny Snyder), started circulating about possible attempts to trade for Chad Johnson. Also mentioned, was that Cincinnati was not interested in trading Johnson. I say great; let him stay, in Ohio.

The Redskins do not need a disruptive element, in their locker room. With all of the other changes going on, in the organization, Chad Johnson would just create a diversion and be an obstacle for Jim Zorn who will have too many other issues to deal with like gaining the respect of his team who are not happy about the choice to make him their new Head Coach, in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I like Chad Johnson and think he is as talented a receiver in the NFL as there is but he brings too much bullshit to the field and locker room. I also think that he would be a great addition to my AFC team, the Ravens. His attitude fits right into that locker room.

For Danny Boy to state that he wants to retain as much continuity on the team as possible, in the aftermath of Joe Gibbs resigning, he sure has a strange way doing it. I guess the Redskins are his Fantasy Football team and obtaining Ocho Cinco would be par for the course, for him.

What bothers me more is this talk about the Skins needing a 'Top' receiver. They have a top receiver and his name is Santana Moss. Last year we started to see a great chemistry being developed between Jason Campbell and Antwaan Randel El, as well. Don't sell them too short and bring in a guy who will have to be paid way more than he's worth. Especially when the team is already having cap issues.

Oh yeah! Who are they going to trade for Johnson, a 1st round pick or two? He's not worth it. The Skins need help on the offensive line, the secondary or a good backup QB, since it looks like their sending Todd Collins and Mark Brunell packing. Maybe Danny can go out and get Trent Green back. No, that wouldn't work; Al Saunders is in St. Louis now. Maybe somebody with a few less years on him... I know! How about trading for Donavan McNabb!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

SI Swimsuit Edition


The 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition went on sale today. What else is there to say?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Smile, You Son of a...


Roy Scheider past away last night. He was not one of my favorite actors but he has a place on my list of unforgettable ones. He was the lead in one of my all time favorite movies, Jaws.

Who could ever forget Amity Police Chief Broady chumming the waters from the deck of the 'Orca', smoking a cigarette and engaging in idle conversation when out of nowhere that big ass shark decides to surface and take a swipe at him.

I was 8 years old and that movie scared the shit out of me. For that reason, I'll miss Roy Scheider (and Blue Thunder of course).

I think he should be laid to rest in the waters that the movie took place. It's either that or mounted and hung over Steven Spielberg's fireplace.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

TV's are having a TiVolution

It's true! The writer's strike is almost over.

My dual tuner FiOS DVR has been developing atrophy for the last few months, as a result of the writer's strike.

"NO MORE!", My digital device is screaming, "Let me start recording 2 programs every hour of every prime time moment, once again."

I know what you must be thinking. If I record that much TV, I must be one lazy SOB.

Well...

I don't have time to waste time arguing with you. If I do, I will not have enough time to watch all of the programs my television will be hoarding.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Danny's Fantasy Football Team

I explained yesterday that I am a Redskins fan. Tonight, I am scratching my head at another Dan Snyder decision.

Snyder decided today that Jim Zorn was the best candidate to coach the team. The man he just hired a couple of weeks ago as the Offensive Coordinator. After weeks of interviewing some of the best in the business, available, he decided to pick an almost unknown.

Yes, Zorn was know during the 70's & early 80's as a half-way decent Quarterback for the Seahawks; but I had not heard his name for a couple of decades. His name did pop up, recently, as the QB coach that made Matt Hasselbeck a force to be reckoned with.

Dan Snyder is the real life incarnate of Richy Rich. He has so much money that he was able to purchase his childhood favorite team and make it one of the richest franchise sports teams, in the world. Who wouldn't want that distinction?

Despite that, he has not been able to find the winning formula that Jack Kent Cooke was able to pull together during the 80's and early 90's. He throws money hand over fist at veterans, past their prime in a lot of cases, who all seem to develop an injury bug as soon as they don the burgundy & gold.

I guess hiring Zorn goes against the grain, as far as his track record has gone for head coaching choices but... MAN.

I hope there is some good candidates, still available, for Offensive Coordinator. Maybe Zorn can get Congressman Steve Largent to drive on over from 'The Hill' on Sundays.






Friday, February 8, 2008

Grand Old Politians

Well today I found out my favorite Presidential candidate has dropped out of the race.

That's right! I'm a card carrying Republican; no apologies (except for the extreme right, of course).

I am saddened by Mitt Romney bowing out. He was a candidate I did not see coming but I could have seen him in office for the next 8 years, as I felt he was the only candidate the GOP had who was a well balanced conservative with the best interests of the country in mind.

Hucka who?

John McCain does not inspire me either and quite frankly I can't figure out how he keeps cropping up every year. Didn't he join the Democratic party a little while back.

Here's a thought I've had for some time now; isn't John McCain and Tom Coughlin the same person? They both keep hanging around, these two bitter old guys who hate everything they stand for and the people who stand with them.

I can't route for either man. They both look like a grandfather in need of fiber; just not mine.

Oh yeah; I hate the Giants too, as I am a Redskins fan through and through (Okay, I route for the Ravens also but only as my AFC team; head-to-head, the 'Skins' come first - (My friends love this about me).

DEMOCRATS... Who needs them, who wants them? If you like to raise taxes, increase spending, create a welfare state and ignore national security, I guess you do. Enjoy your 4 years of office as you undoubtedly will win this year.

Ann Coulter said this morning, in an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show, It would probably be better that Hillary Clinton win this election and we suffer for only the next 4 years than John McCain win and we suffer for the next 30. I might have to agree with Ann on this one.

We'll see what happens in November.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Dusk



Hello...

This is my 1st attempt at a blog so bare with me. I don't know what to expect but I say, what the hell, let's try it.

I want to open a forum where I can express my opinions, listen to your opinions, share what interests me and allow you to broaden my interests.

This first entry will be simple, as I am also testing what I can do. (It does, however, seem pretty simple so far)

My Avatar is a Devil, which a good friend has bestowed upon me for various reasons; those reasons are topics that I may explain on another occasion or in my daily expressions posted on this Blog.

"The Devil" may or may not be a fitting description of me but that will depend on who you're are asking.

Personally, I feel like I am a pretty decent fellow with a deviant or oblique sense of humor. Hence, my acceptance of a Red Devil image which is a symbolization of my humorous side and not really an evil persona.

I'm pretty typical; I like things that most guys like. Not in any particular order, I like women, sports, beer, alcohol, fine cigars, family & friends, hanging out in social places (bars or parties), good movies & television etc...

My core group of friends are people I've known most of my life. I was in a fraternity which most people can guess after being around me for any length of time. My family, of course, comes 1st but my buds are an extension of my family. Therefore I have a lot of brothers and I would do anything in my ability for them.

That's enough about me, for now. I'll see how this goes for a while and hope to broaden my mind and expression.